Crying Soul Tears™ on Waxed Floors: A Recovery Story
✨ Waxed Floors✨
🪞 The mirror I use now is sacred 🪞
I see myself clearly.
I speak with love.
I am not what they projected —
I am what I reclaim.
🧬 Are You Someone Who Inherited Zero Self-Worth? Yeah, You are, I am, They are, Most Are— we just don’t know it yet.
The poison started early — kindergarten age.
I had a basic need: I had to use the bathroom. 🚻 So I followed my inner urge, got up from the couch, and walked across the floor. The floor had just been waxed — this was in the ’60s, and yes, women waxed the floor back then. It was a *big deal.*
Out of nowhere, Margarita flew into a rage. 😡 She threw my sibling (a first grader) and me out of the house. Yes, she did — out into Chicago, of all places. And yes, we didn’t speak English. Only Spanish.
We walked to the only safe place we knew: Ms. P’s classroom at school. 🏫👩🏫 We were small. We were stunned. We had been introduced to the generational curse.
That’s when the poison began to seep into my little body. 🧪 It started there — but it didn’t stay there.
It leaked into everything:
Relationships. Identity. Faith. Body. Work. Worth.
I thought I could hide it — I couldn’t.
💔 From Rigid Faith to Internal War
To make sense of the pain, I became a fanatical Christian 🙏 — not from peace, but from fear. I obeyed every rule. (Well... I faked it. Remember: zero esteem.)
I tried to earn worth through righteousness, routine, and repression. Talk about a people pleaser! (Hi, CoDA!)
When that didn’t work, I turned to the internal drugstore: 💊🍷🔥 (Tune in — that’s another story.) I would eventually find the external drugs too.
But oh no — this wasn’t something I could escape. The ancestors want relief — and I am going to deliver it.
The pain has history. It still stings now. The descendants are in the mix too.
There’s no bypassing this work. Yes, I have to work on it DAILY!!
🧬 I Learned: The Body Is A Factory And A Chemical Lab
I inherited celiac disease — and with it came a physical manifestation of zero self-worth:
- Boils
- Pimples
- Pustules
- Cramps
- Intolerances of all sorts
My skin and my organs — they became enraged. Wars would ensue inside my body. The poison was trying to get out.
These eruption began around age 20 and lasted for two decades. By 40, my organs began to deteriorate. The damage had surfaced. 🫀⚔️
🕊️ Something Big Is About To Shift
Now, at 60, I’ve learned: This isn’t just my pain. It moves backward. It moves forward. It will not be ignored. Lo tienes que mover
It’s generational. It’s ancestral. And finally — it’s beginning to heal. 🌿💫
But let’s be clear:
It doesn’t heal on its own. This is a process.
I’ve been walking this healing path for 30+ years. 🐢 🐌 Thanks old School self - help authors.
🔁 What Was Looking Back vs. What Is Possible to Be Seen
🌫️ Silence & Shame
😞 Self-Doubt
🤯 Confusion
🪞 Cracked Reflection
🤐 Swallowed Truth
🚫 Inherited Beliefs
🎙️ Voice & Visibility
🌱 Self-Trust
🧭 Clarity
🧿 Sacred Mirror
💬 Spoken Healing
✅ Chosen Truth
A glow-up turned Soul-Up™. Because our spirit didn’t come here to settle.
🧼 This mirror is cleaned. ⚔️ This lineage is protected. 🪞 This is the mirror of becoming.
💎 Final Reflection
“I no longer carry what was never mine. At least not all of it. I discovered the word NO. The rage, the silence, the shame — I release it daily.”
My truth is sacred. My healing is real. My road is long. The buck stops here. That keeps it from spreading everywhere else.
✨ So be it. ✨ So let it be. ✨ Hear, hear.
🔗 🌺 Read My Story: Spirit, Sass & Sacred Truths →
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