A $300 🔮 Crystal Ball That Led Me Home 🧨
🔮 We Bought a $300 Amethyst Ball Because We Were Desperate.
Some dude named Marc sold it to us. They call these people 13 steppers. THUGS. 🧨 He sniffed out our desperation like a mosquito finds skin at sunset. 🦟 Said it would “anchor divine feminine energy” and help us “open our heart field.” At that point we didn’t even know what a heart field was. 🌀 But we said sí, handed him three hundred dólares, and cradled that shiny rock like it was going to mother us. 😭
And honestly?
We’re not even mad. Because that was real. That’s where we were. We weren’t trying to be bougie or mystical — we were just trying to stop crying in public, okay? 😭 We were trying to fix ourselves. Heal ourselves. Save ourselves. Except we didn’t trust ourselves yet. Not fully.
So we trusted Marc. And the amethyst. And every type of sage known to humans. ⚠️ Y’all, we saged our closets. Our cars. Our calzones. 💨🕯️ We thought if we burned enough bundles, our fear would vanish in the smoke. 🦨
🧘🏽♀️ Buying Magical Stuff ≠ Building a Grounded Self
What we really needed wasn’t a ball. We needed the belief that healing was possible. We needed a plan. A real plan. One we created for ourselves, with ourselves, without relying on some overpriced altar starter kit from a man named Marc in tight linen pants. 🧙
💥 It took us YEARS to learn the difference:
Fixing ourselves from fear 👎🏽
Healing ourselves from love 🫶🏽
💃🏽💃🏿 And yes, mi gente — we still love crystals. We still use tarot. 🔮 But now it’s because we trust ourselves… not because we’re scared of ourselves.
🥣 Let’s give credit where it’s due:
- Chi-Gong taught us to feel the difference between sympathetic and parasympathetic response 🌀
- New Age books reminded us: "Pull your own strings" 🪡
- Tarot taught us to trust what we already see 🔮
- And one real Vipassana teacher told us:
“You have to work out your own salvation.” 🙏🏼😭
That moment? On our knees, sobbing 🙏🏼😭 Something sacred clicked. 🥣
Because up until then, some of us were still waiting for Jesús to roll up and fix it all. 💌
✨ But what we really learned during that first 10-day silent retreat?
Jesús isn’t coming to clean our trauma closets.
That’s our job.
And guess what?
We’re not broken. We’re not behind. We’re not hopeless.
We’re just learning — like everyone else — how to build safety that doesn’t depend on incense, angel numbers, or affirmation playlists. (Though let’s be honest… cinnamon incense still slaps. 😌🕯️)
🥣 So why were we so gullible for so long? Why so naive?
Because we were ignorant to some key truths that could’ve helped earlier. We were taught to believe lies over truth. We were told that we didn’t matter. That we were sinners. That humanity would’ve been better off without us, because we were born in a female body. ⚠️
We were taught that procreating out of wedlock was a curse. That if we didn’t have a man to make it better, we’d be alone forever. So we searched. We obeyed. We internalized. Not because we were stupid — but because that’s what they told us was love.
Now listen, I’m not saying having a partner isn’t important. It can be beautiful. I’m just telling my story, so don’t get all crazy. 😅 This is how it was. And we’re not hiding anymore. 🕯️