Diana In Da House “Wounded And Working It Out”™

💬 “Diana didn’t destroy things out of spite. Or did she?”

It’s saying: she wasn’t being intentionally vindictive… but let’s be honest — sometimes, hurt people do messy things that look like spite.
👉 Self-sabotage can feel like destruction, when it’s really fear in disguise.

I’ve been Diana.
So many times.

I didn’t know what I was doing — I was repeating what I saw and calling it normal, even successful.
No I am not a victim, And yet at times it is my favorite role to play, go figure! I didn’t know I mattered.
Didn’t know I was shaping the energía in the room.
I thought, I’m just doing what’s expected.
On autopilot. All survival. No soul.

Then one day you wake up and start to see it.
All the cosas you did.
Didn’t do.
Didn’t say.
Didn’t even know you could say.

Yeah. I’ve been her. 😶‍🌫️

Sometimes I pushed peace away on purpose — called it being petty and thought it was funny.
Other times, I was just in reaction mode. No thinking. Just instinct.
And now? I see how triste that is.
How exhausting.
Same cycle. Same result. Still confused about what’s “wrong.”

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💬 “She did it because she didn’t know how to feel safe unless she was in control.”

That’s the real story. Diana wasn’t evil — she was scared, confused, and shaped by chaos. 😵‍💫

She learned early:
Control = safety.
Control = being liked.
Control = being feared.
Control = belonging.

Better to be a part of something fake than apart from everything.
That was the emotional math.
Even if it was never hers to begin with.

So when things felt uncertain, she tightened her grip — even if it meant breaking the very thing she was trying to protect.
That’s how it happened for me, too. 😔

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🧠 Emotional safety became a control tactic, not a felt experience.

When I first heard the phrase “felt-sense experience,” I didn’t get it.
I couldn’t.

I grew up on abuso.
Feeling safe wasn’t something I felt — it was something I faked, chased, or micromanaged.

Let me slow it down:
A felt-sense of safety means your body believes you’re safe.
Not because you’re hustling.
Not because you’re 10 steps ahead of peligro.
Just… because you are.
Here. Now. In your piel. In your breath. 🌬️

But for some of us?
Safety was a role. A hustle. A job.

That’s why I call it:
Fear Cosplaying as Control™.

Fear pretending to be fuerza.
Fear pretending to be “I got this.” 💪🏽
Still fear underneath.
Still that little kid inside whispering:
👉 “If I can control everything, no one can hurt me again.”

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But trying to control everything?
That still creates chaos.
Especially internal chaos.
Mi caos era (y todavía es) una tormenta interna. 💥💭🌪️

It wasn’t even that I strangled the job, the relationship, the sueño.
I gave up on it.
Walked away.
Not because I lacked the skill — I didn’t.
But because I lacked the relationship with myself.

We weren’t taught how to stay.
How to sit with miedo without abandoning ourselves.
I didn’t know how to stay.
I only knew how to disappear. 🫥

And I’ve paid dearly for that.

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💬 “(Also… yes, she grew up on survival mode, family gossip, and novela-grade gaslighting.)”

This matters:

• Survival mode = always prepping for worst-case escenarios.
• Family gossip = love that felt like performance.
• Novela-grade gaslighting = reality was always a little… twisted. 📺

👉 Diana wasn’t a villain.
She was conditioned.

So Nes had to wound her?
It's time to wake up.

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In short?
Diana didn’t mean to blow it all up. 💣🔥💥
She just didn’t know how to be loved without performing,
how to feel safe without control,
or how to trust without proof.

And that… is the real ancestral hand-me-down. 😮‍💨🪞

✨ Read: Help Me Really See My True Self ✨